actually, I'm a sock model
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
