He had one of those small greek statue penises
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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