Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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