Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
