yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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