Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
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Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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