Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
