I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
