i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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