where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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