Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
