I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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