So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
