The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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