You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize