and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
