Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
