We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
you inspire me to be a worse person
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
