So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
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Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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