it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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