we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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