I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
FUCK WHALES
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
