***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
the liver wants what the liver wants
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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