finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize