I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize