His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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