Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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