Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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