she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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