everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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