how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Randomize
