Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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