I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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