i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize