my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize