I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
ttyl tear gas
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize