I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
