The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
