Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
