I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
