you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
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Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
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I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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