i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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