And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
