OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
