We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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