This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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