They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
it's great music for shaving your balls
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
