I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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