STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Randomize
