Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
