i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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