Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
