mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
