okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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