Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
