i may or may not be watching the land before time
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
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I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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