You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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