the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
