Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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