Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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