He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
