I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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