theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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