big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
